Monday, January 25, 2010


I feel like I'm all alone these past few days.
My cousin Mira who used to hang with me suddenly disappear out of nowhere.
Jesse is on her holiday.
The ex-boyfriend I think is finally moving on.
All my friends are back with their own studies.
I got no one else to hang around with these days..
Do I carry some kind of a disease that makes them disappear?

I woke up this morning and I felt like shit when I realised that part of me is missing him badly.
Yeah I know, cliche and lover dovey post. But seriously, when I text-ed him last night it seems like he is doing great. I mean, that's a good thing right? He said I wanted this not him and he keeps on asking why when he is finally able to accept this I keep coming back?
What the fuck do you want Audrey?!
What is wrong with me?!
I guess I just have to let go ??
Cause I read somewhere that If you love someone you'll let them go but if it comes back to you it is meant to be but if it doesn't it was not yours in the first place. Something like that la.

I need to go for a vacation or take some time off for me to finally make a wise decision.
Anyone care to take me to a vacay? Hahah!

Love and all the corny things :

Thursday, January 21, 2010

The dream.

I had a dream about dating a married man last night.
Nothing like that picture above though, just giving this post a little spice :D
I mean how can this possibly be?
I never have any thought about dating a married man, I mean this is so totally wrong.
But I guess when you had a dream about something, that certain something must be playing in your head for quite awhile is it? Or it's just me? Hahah..

But when I got up and realized that it was a dream, I said to myself..
"Damn, if only it was real."  Hahah!
In that dream, his daughter even accept me okay.
He makes it clear that he is leaving his wife for me.
The daughter which I assumed about the age of 15 prefers to spent time with me rather than her own mother.
And this guy that I am dating drove few sport cars as I can recall it. (Clearly it was a dream aye? Hahah!)

And I am like crushing this guy real bad man although I don't know any guy who looks like that.
*biting my nails*
Damn Damn!
Why do I have that jolt in my stomach when I try to recall what happen in the dream?
I have to remind myself that it was just a dream, it was just a dream. Sigh ~

As cliche as it may seems but this guy is everything that I look for in a guy..
It's a long list if I have to write down each detail right? I just save that thought to myself lah.
See, he's like the perfect guy for a happy ending. I guess that's why we call it DREAMS right?
So that we can hope for something like that?

Damn! I don't want to believe in fairy tales but that dream last night gives me the hope of finding one.
Not a married man, CLEARLY!

But if it's meant to be what to do right? Hahahah! Kidding..

I just have to go through today by reminisce the dream last night :(

Love :

I will always remember Our Song :)

 Heaven by Nu Flavor

ohhh heaven oh heaven can't you help me?
First time I saw you girl
you turned me upsidedown
I can't stop thinking 'bout you
my head is spinning round
I got to find a way
to get with you somehow
girl i'm so crazy for you
you know I want you now
and every minute of every single day
i'm dreaming of how it could be
and every night before I go to sleep i'm praying
that soon you'll be here with me

Heaven heaven oh heaven can't you help me?
I looked in her eyes now she's all I see
Heaven oh Heaven can't you help?
I'm down on my knees please help me
Can't fall asleep tonight I don't know what to do
I hold my pillow but I wanna be holding you
And when I close my eyes
I always see you face
I know my happiness is only a kiss away
and every hour here in the dark
every beat of my lonely heart
Tells me that I need to be with you
Heaven oh Heaven what can I do?

Heaven heaven oh heaven can't you help me?
I'll give her my love for eternity
heaven oh heaven can't you help me?
I'm down on my knees please help me
Girl i'd give anything
If you were here with me
Give you anything you want
and anything you need
I never thought that I, could feel the way I do
but now I wanna spend the rest of my life with you
And everyday that we are apart
i'm saving this love here in my heart
And every night before I go to sleep
I'm praying that soon you'll be here with me

Heaven Heaven oh Heaven can't you help me?
I looked in her eyes now she's all I see
Heaven oh heaven can't you help me?
I'm down on my knees please help me
heaven (repeat till music fades)

Love :

A thought.

I feel fat.
I feel huge.
I feel gigantic.
I feel enormous.


Wednesday, January 20, 2010

In need of a new tattoo.

Well basically the tittle says it all already.
Yeah, I feel like having a new tattoo..
Not that I thought about it just last night,hahah!
At first I wanted a Guardian Angel tattoo but then I want it to be something girlish..
So instead I choose to browse for fairy tattoo designs..

Here are some of the designs that caught my eye..
But I'm not going to copy other people's tattoo/design though.

I'll design it myself, I just need to have the rough idea.

Love :

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


Yesterday was a very slow day for me indeed.
I online the whole day, yada this yada that on the phone.
Totally got nothing to do, went downstairs to eat like 4 times.
It is just me or everyone else is facing the same thing like I did? Hmmm..

Then last night, I had this argument with the boyfriend/ex-boyfriend. For I-don't-know how many times this week.
Little things that we argue turns to be like serious one, I can't take it anymore.
I'm tired of having to worry about this each seconds.
Tired of facing all these dramas.
Tired of pretending.

If you can't bloody trust me, then what the heck are we both still hanging on to this relationship?
To make us hate each other more rather than maintain a close bond?
That's what you want?

You are trying to make me hate you?

I just need to let this one out again :)

No matter how hard we tried to make this relationship work, the harder it gets.
And it wasn't suppose to be like that, it was suppose to be easy.

Owh honey, why can't we be like before?

Sigh .

Love :

Friday, January 15, 2010

Wonders of Photoshop :)

This is just a random post on one of my photoshop work..
I totally have no idea what to blog about cos lately life has been such a roller coaster to me..
So I'll save it for my next post :)
Wait for it cos it's going to be a long one.. Hahah!

So,here are just one of my latest photoshop work which I want to share with you guys :)

Enjoy ~

I know right?


Thank you so much photoshop :D

Love Love :

Saturday, January 9, 2010

2010.. Update update :D

It's 2010 already..
Damn! Time flies real fast man..

I have no idea what to blog about here right now..
Cos basically 2009 is so totally not my year..
Everything seems fucked up in a way that i barely can describe and yeah few ups and down lah..

I'm still looking forward for a better year in 2010..

2009 through my camera..

I got no inspiration to write at the moment so I'll end here..

L.O.V.E :